Tuesday, October 3, 2023

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Men want the right to feel weak

“The Drinker” sculpture by Banksy at Shaftesbury Avenue. Photo by Reuters

“The Drinker” sculpture by Banksy at Shaftesbury Avenue. Photo by ReutersMen must do the heavy jobs, be the foundation of the family, not complain and not show weakness.

I’m tired of all those requirements.

These days we talk a lot about bringing gender equality for women. Men need that equality too.

What does the society think of a man?

Here are the common stereotypes: A man has to take on the heaviest tasks without complaining. A man should not talk about himself, should not show his emotions. If you cannot survive pressure, you’re not a man.

I used to be that man, always pushing to move forward, to finish all the hard tasks without a complaint. I tried to show everyone that I was a tough guy, a strong guy, and that I was always all right. And of course, that’s what everyone thought about me, without knowing that I was struggling with tons of problems and pressures in my head.

Then came the moment when my dam of emotions burst, when I could not hold all my negative emotions in anymore, and I let them all out in my most aggressive ways.

And with that outburst, I learned not to suppress my feelings. I learned to recognize and express them.

If I dismissed my feelings, I would not have been able to figure out my problems and no one would have been able to help me either.

I think a man who accepts his shortcomings is a very brave man.

Maybe I am not a true man by the “manly” standards set by society, but I an true to my emotions, and I am happy with that.

There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are weak or incapable. That is my message to all the men who are forcing themselves to take it all in for their family.

I am certain that there is quite a number of men out there who want the right to feel weak, to feel tired and to lean on someone else. They want the right to be listened to, and to be sympathized with. After all, they are humans.

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